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There were even photos of me jumping off a plane holding something that looked like a blob of pus-ridden flesh with stumped tentacles, skiing in the alps carrying a really strange sort of gun and shooting at faint blueish things, that looked eerily like ghosts. To top things off, I saw a photo of me in an astronaut's suit mock-humping another astronaut on the moon, with a vast building complex in the background and a couple of things that astonishingly similar to flying saucers right above our heads. I just couldn't believe all that and even though I was about to start laughing hysterically, especially after that astronaut photo, I just said what came to mind first:"That's bullshit. I don't know why you're trying so hard, but that's just doctored. Fake. Those guys must be lookalikes. Or made with a computer, I dunno. They can do some seriously good-looking fakes. Ever seen Avatar?"The Baron smiled knowingly, as if this was exactly what he wanted to hear:"Vell, zat's exactly vat I. Don’t they work there?”“Whoa, now, Maurice. One question at a time, okay?”“I saw your wife this morning before I came to work,” Idon’t know why but I lied. The last time that I saw hiswife was Sunday morning, four days ago. “And yes, cellphones do work here in the Virgin Islands but my condoat Carambola is next to some mountains near the rainforest. The reception isn’t so good, some maybe shehasn’t had a chance to call.” The later part of my answer was correct but I instantlybegan to worry about Miriam. I hadn’t heard from hereither since early this past Sunday morning when shewas still in the throes of getting fucked by a bigblack buck. Was Miriam looking for love or was it justlust, big black lust?I went straight to the Island police to file a missingperson report. They told me that there was a twenty-four hour waiting period before they could startlooking for her.“Twenty-four hours?” I exclaimed..
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